"B" naughty fraid

Yes, yes. It is a bad pun.

But the fabric of Hoon language and culture is unraveling around the edges a bit.

Let me explain.

Hoons have no trouble speaking Anglic and other Earthclan languages. Leaving aside our umble and throat sac, a hoon's mouth, tongue, and vocal chords are all built along very similar lines as a human's corresponding parts.

Though the Hoon can easily pronounce any Anglic word that uses the letter B, the Hoon language chooses not to use it.

Why does the hoonish language leave out the sound of the Anglic letter B?

It's considered rude. It is literally an act of infantilism.

For the sounds "Ba-ba-ba" or "Bi-bi-bi" are the first sounds to be made by a hoon infant. The sound either existed automatically or instinctively before Uplift, or else it was programmed in.

(Again the Guthatsa do not give out details. But in this case, hoon parents everywhere would praise their actions, if true.)

Once this "Ba-ba-ba" is sounded, then on Jijo, I'm told, one or the other of the parents takes the baby on a short trip to the little hut out back of the family khuta.

(It's a bit easier and a much shorter trip for those of us who reside on the more civilized Hoon planets.)

When a child is old enough to walk to the facilities all by themselves, they are also old enough to consciously stop making the B sound. Hoonish potty training is a whole lot simpler than that of elongated process that's used by humans with their children.

"Boat, bosun, belay, about, and even bicycle." Alvin has introduced so many Anglic terms into everyday usage that Anglic 'B's are being heard daily.

Some hoon are taking a decidedly Twencen French attitude about the degradation of the hoonish language. Some are not. And of the "are nots," some rationalize this new use of the B sound as being totally hoonish.

Auph-hu-Phwuhbhu, as a rebellious author, had his name changed to reflect the need for a literary second childhood.

Can this new love of life, this sailing frenzy, this new wave of literary renaissance be called anything else?

In closing, I have just two words to say:

"Bye-bye."

---Dor-hinuf